Hurry up.
Let’s go.
Get your shoes on.
You pooped again?
Is that throw up?
Go potty.
Does your day ever start this way? I find myself waking up in the morning and praying that I won’t yell at my kids. Sometimes THAT is my goal!
Just. Don’t. Yell.
I don’t think I have ever felt extreme rage or extreme grace in a span of 5 minutes as when I became mom of a toddler. With four little ones under 6 years old, it can be a constant roller coaster ride if I allow it. Not the fun, exhilarating kind of ride, but the kind that jerks you back and forth and leaves your neck pulled, your back out, your hair a tangled mess, and in need of a barf bag!
How can I change this? How can I make my mornings the kind that are exhilarating, joyful, and stress free? Is that even possible? Do I need to wait until it’s an empty nest?
Well, I think I have it figured out. Trust me, I still mess up. (see point #5) But I realized it has nothing to do with my kids. It has everything to do with me and my approach to the day. It is time to take back my mornings and start the day out dangerously. Free of stress and full of joy!
Here are my tips for stress-free mornings with four little ones to get out of the door by 8am:
1. Do as much as you can the night before.
As soon as the kids get home, we make lunches for the next day. Now, I have to admit- I despise making lunches. But that’s where my partner-in-crime dangerous dad comes in! He makes lunches while I prep for dinner. Lunches get made, outfits for the next day get picked out. (I let them help pick and we discuss the weather and what would be appropriate. Good teaching moments!) I even make my breakfast for the next day and pack it with my lunch sometimes. All of this happens as quickly and efficiently as possible so that we can enjoy the kids for the few hours before bedtime.
2. Wake up earlier.
If you’re anything like me, you probably stopped reading by now. Wake up earlier? Yea, right. Trust me, if anyone loves their sleep, it’s me! But I find that if I wake up 30 minutes earlier than anyone else, I can have my “me” time. I can spend time with God in prayer and reading; I can take a shower without little ones trying to break in. For the love of God, I can pee in peace! I can pick out an outfit without someone puking on it. I can drink my coffee while doing my make-up. I. can. breathe. I know this isn’t a new thought or idea, but it really does work. If I am ready before my kids wake up, I can fully focus on them and can help set their days up for joy and success.
3. Put on your armor.
This is probably the most important tip from me and for me. I have to be aware of what I will be facing each day as a dangerous mom. I have to put on my full armor of God so that I am prepared and ready to face whatever comes against me. If I don’t consciously put on my helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, shoes of peace, sword of spirit, etc. then I am going to start the day off in my own strength. (See Ephesians 6:10-18) If I don’t start out this way, I will allow the enemy to sneak his way in with those little lies. You’re going to yell at them today. You’re not a good mom. They are going to make you late. I need to give God priority in the morning. Pray. Listen. Be still. It is amazing how smoothly my morning can go if I give it to God first thing.
4. Enjoy them.
If you follow steps 1-3, then you will be able to fully enjoy the moments with your children. I find that when I am ready and able to think clearly, I notice little things like the tower my little Asher built, the drawing my little Rylie worked hard on, the independence that Caleb exhibited when he made the bed by himself, and the way Josiah pulled himself up for the first time in his crib. They will not be little forever. They won’t need me in the mornings for too much longer. I don’t want to miss this. I want to press the pause button. Have this approach EVERY morning, and see how much more enjoyable it can be.
5. Forgive yourself.
Lysa Terkeurst, one of my favorite mama authors, says “Bad moments don’t make us bad mamas.” That is so true. I tend to feel so much guilt when I mess up by yelling. I see the look in my little one’s eyes and I know I’ve crushed her spirit. I have ruined his morning. They will never forget my moment of yelling. Those thoughts couldn’t be further from the truth. As long as we forgive ourselves and ask our little ones for forgiveness, then it can be wonderful teaching moments. Breathe. Walk away. Gather your emotions. Ask your little ones for forgiveness. Then, pray together. We don’t have it all together, but we have to give ourselves a little more grace.
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