Rest

Sleep. Rest. Beach. Read. Eat. Sleep.

Sound too good to be true? Why is that?

For the last eight years, my girlfriends and I have gone away on vacation together. No kids. No husbands. No agenda. We have made a pact that unless one of us is in labor, we will never cancel this trip. Why is it so important? I believe that this very trip helps me be a better wife, helps me be a better mother, and helps me be a better me.

Four reasons why EVERY dangerous mom needs to get away for a few days with her girlfriends:

1. I am reminded of where I find my identity.
I’m not a mommy. I’m not a wife. I’m not a friend. I am a woman who loves God. That’s who I am. Going away for a few days with other beautiful Christian women helps me to grow in that identity. We can build each other up, laugh until we cry, cry until we laugh, and eat until we sleep. We can share our struggles, share our triumphs, challenge each other in certain topics and stretch each other in our callings. It’s nothing short of beautiful. No interruptions. No agenda. No ulterior motives. Just real women learning who we are in Christ. It’s a beautiful thing. Each year, I see the growth in each of us, and we all agree that our identity does not lie in our daily roles. It lies in our Creator. If I didn’t have this time away, I would grow resentful, bitter, and just plain ole tired! It is on this retreat that I get back to the basics of who I am. Is it selfish? I don’t think so.

2. I am reminded of what a real friend looks like.
None of us girls are all that similar. One is a phenomenal cook. One can bench-press a grown man. One is a mentor and life coach. One is hilarious and fantastic with people. One is ridiculously talented in fine arts. One is goofy and silly almost at all times. It is way too easy to drop all of your friends the moment you get married and especially the moment you have children. I have seen it WAY too many times. The fun girl who had tons of friends has a baby and falls off the face of the earth. Nope. Not me. I won’t allow it. When I am with my girlfriends, it’s as if I am a cell phone plugged in. When I was on the plane this past week, I was definitely at 7% with a red line and the “low battery” sign flashing. Each day with them as we ate, laughed, played silly games, took naps on the beach, listened to Jack Johnson while eating Twizzlers, and talked about life, I quickly got the recharge I needed. There’s something about being in the presence of other women who are so different yet all believe in the same amazing God. It allows me to let down my guard and rest in His peace and His goodness. As my battery recharges, I am reminded of my favorite Bible verse found in Matthew 11:28-30. God wants us to come and rest in Him. But in order to do that, I need to recognize that He is the one I can turn to and lay down my burdens.

3. I am reminded of how wonderful my husband is!
Seriously, my husband is amazing. He 100% supports these trips with the girls. He watches all four of our little rugrats and does so with a cheerful heart. Hands down, the best guy. But guess what? He goes on his “mancation” weekends, too. We both recognized early in our marriage that we didn’t want to lose our friends. We didn’t want marriage and parenthood to change that. We didn’t want to ONLY be friends with other parents or other married couples. So, once or twice a year, we make this happen. My husband needs to recharge just as much as I do, and he needs to be able to get away without any feelings of guilt or doubt.

4. I am reminded of how adorable and wonderful my kids are!
Let’s face it. There are some days where as a mommy, I cry out, “Take me away!!!” You can’t miss something unless it’s gone. I find that when I leave my children for a few days with their grandparents or daddy, I appreciate them more. I miss their little faces, their little voices, and even their little tantrums. God gives me new dreams and new visions for each of their lives, and it helps me long to be with them again. My children need to understand that I am not the only one they can depend on. They have other adults that like to pour into them and these vacations allow for this to happen. I am always so amazed at how much they have “grown” when I return. Now don’t get me wrong, there is some “unlearning” that needs to occur after being spoiled for a week from their grandparents, but ya know what? At the end of the day, it’s worth it and I’m glad someone loves them enough to spoil them like that 😉 It’s an amazing and confusing feeling when you’re away for a few days from the kids. It’s like a perfect balance of longing to be with them and doing the “happy dance” for being away from them. Embrace it and dance through it!

Please find a way to adapt this to your life. Some mommies never leave their children. Ever. Like, ever. I am here to encourage you to leave your kids with trusted adults from time to time. Maybe it won’t be for an entire weeklong vacation, but at least do so for a few hours. Go for a weekend. Just do it. If you trust the adults, then you have to believe that the children are having a blast and in good hands. I know that when I leave my kids with my husband or with my parents that their outfits are not going to match and they may eat pizza for every meal. Big deal! They are creating memories while I am missing them. Do me a favor- get a few hours of alone time with God and with your girlfriends. And please, don’t feel bad about it!